Nothing kills a man faster than the reality of "loss of control." When a man loses control over his life, his family, his finances, etc he dies slowly. A man once told me while we discussed that the greatest mistake he made was getting married to his wife. Then I asked why, and he told a very long story that summed up to be that: while he was financially stable his wife respected and loved him, but when things got bad, she changed completely. I confirmed his story one day when he had to take excuse at work in order to pick up his children from school meanwhile his wife was at home doing nothing. Woman don't you know that your submission to your husband in everything gives him strength and prolongs his life? If you wish to know, read slowly...
Ephesians 5:21-33
Wives should regard their husbands as they regard the Lord, since as Christ is head of the Church and saves the whole body, so is a husband the head of his wife; and as the Church submits to Christ, so should wives to their husbands, in everything...For this reason, a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one body. This mystery has many implications; but I am saying it applies to Christ and the Church.

1. Child of God, as stated in my address to husbands, that St. Paul, through these profound words shows us the nexus between the relationship of Christ and the Church, and marriage. Thus making this a workable template by which marriages can be successful. [If you have not read my address to husbands, Click Here]
2. Wives should regard their husbands as they regard the Lord... This is a clarion call for women to have an 'adoring respect' for their husbands. This is not ordinary respect given to everyone, it is different. The bible qualifies it by saying "as they regard the Lord", meaning that such respect should be special and sacred; as if to say 'worship' your husband! The respect should be special because he is not like any other man or person out there, he has become part of you. Secondly, respect should be sacred because he is the head of the family, as Christ is the head of the Church. His position in your life and in the family is a divine mandate because it was to Adam the Lord God gave the power to name all created things, even Eve his wife. Whatever name he gave to creation, so it was. Whoever has the power to name has a divine power because names confer identity and destiny. Your husband's pronouncements over you have the power to shape your life and that of your children. 
[If you want to know more about The Power of Names/Namingread my work on CONNECTING TO YOUR DESTINY THROUGH YOUR NAME]

But how many men know this? Even women are oblivious of this as well. This describes why when a man appreciates his wife with kind and beautiful words, her life transforms physically, psychologically, and emotionally. This also explains why children seek the blessings of their father before marriage.
3. But why these great responsibilities given to husbands? The bible says because Christ is the head of the church and saves the body. Christ saved the church by dying. Hence a good husband dies to himself (ego) in order to be alive for his wife and children. How does he die to himself? He does so by making sacrifices and accepting his limitations: working hard to provide for the needs of the family, loving his wife and children, etc, and he lives for his family when his wife and children accept and appreciate his efforts and limitations. Sadly, many marriages suffer today because the woman earns more than the man. The woman feels her husband is not doing enough. In some obvious situations, the man has no work or earns little, and more financial responsibilities fall on the woman. 
These situations should not cause you to disrespect or despise your husband. It is in such situations that your submission is truly tested. If you fail this test, you're not a good wife and must repent. Your submission is not foolishness or a sign of weakness but a divine mandate that has something precious to preserve: life- the life of your husband. This submission involves informing your husband about gifts received (both in cash and in-kind) bearing in mind that if your husband 'loses control' he dies slowly. Therefore let it be known and established that the moment a woman flaunts in arrogance over her husband, despise him and hide truths from him, she starts digging his grave and if after reading this fails to change is a conscious decision to commit murder. A man who truly dies to himself shall humble himself and support his wife during economic difficulties in the family and not see her 'normal weaknesses' or 'established characters' as arrogance or pride.
4. As the Church submits to Christ, so should wives to their husbands, in everything... 
Submission in everything does not have two interpretations. It is very clear. However negative interpretations must be carefully avoided for it is a phrase mostly used by those (mostly men) who want to be domineering. The woman's total submission is premised on two grounds that must be taken together: First, because she no longer owns her body, and second, because it is a divine command to adore her husband.
The woman no longer owns her body, like wise her husband, for both have become one. Hence the harmony and sanity of this "new body" survives not on force, domination, selfishness but on mutual love and mutual trust that is open to sacrifice for the good of the other. So for this 'new body' or 'community' to have 'a pilot' leading it in harmony away from anarchy and confusion, the role of the husband was divinely established.
Secondly, wives by divine command are called to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. St Paul says this mystery have many implications, meaning it can be used to explain many things. The church submits to christ in obedience, in truth and in worship. I have highlighted how wives should submit in obedience and truth. Here I shall highlight how wives should 'worship' their husband. By this command the Bible does not call you to idolatry but to 'jealously protect' your husband not an irrational, harmful jealousy and protection borne from insecure feelings that does no one any good.
This protection includes but is not limited to his health (physical, mental and sexual health), dignity in public, family, home, etc As much as you spend time looking good and beautiful for him, pay attention also to him. As much as you want conjugal satisfaction from him, feed him with foods that will keep him fit because he is also your responsibility together with your children. We worship God through gift offering and praises. Wives should learn to offer gifts to their husbands. There's no written code that states only women need gifts, men also love and appreciate gifts. When you do these your husband will love you more and would go any length to please you, and make efforts not to hurt you.
TASK: Being a wife (and mother) is not easy. It is a special vocation established by God. For this reason, matrimony (marriage) is rightly called the "mother's office" taken from its Latin roots matrimonium: mater(mother) and monium (obligation/office). For you to carry out these obligations very well, you need God's help for it demands great sacrifice. Hence I urge you to pray now: 1Samuel 2: 1-10

I pray for you: May the Lord who endows you with the privilege of being married bless your marriage with love and peace and give you the strength to carry out the task before you in Jesus' name. AMEN.

© Fr. SimOne Madu, OSJ



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  1. Well explained...I pray that many of us will understand and live by the truth

    1. Thanks brother God bless you for reading and your reviews


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