During a counselling session a lady narrated  how she got entangled in an extramarital affair with a male colleague at work and how she is struggling to end the relationship. To advice her, I asked about her relationship with her husband and she responded with tears. "My husband doesn't appreciate me nor have my time, we live in the same house but act like strangers. Sometimes I have to beg him for us to be together," she said. Child of God, many marriages are crashing for similar reasons and more will, if this is not considered. Men do you know that kind and beautiful words spoken to your wives purifies her from evil thoughts and keeps her faithful to her marital vows to you? If you're in doubt read slowly...

Ephesians 5:21-33
Husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and sacrificed himself for her to make her holy. He made her clean by washing her in water with a form of words, so that when he took her to himself she would be glorious, with no speck or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and faultless. In the same way, husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies; for a man to love his wife is for him to love himself. A man never hates his own body, but he feeds it and looks after it; and that is the way Christ treats the Church, because it is his body – and we are its living parts. For this reason, a man must leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one body. This mystery has many implications; but I am saying it applies to Christ and the Church. 
1. Child of God, St. Paul uses these words to teach us that the relationship between Christ and the church is like a marital covenant. Meaning that the relationship between christ and His church should be the template by which marriages should operate in order to expect good results.

2. Christ sacrificed himself for his church to make her holy... This calls husbands to make sacrifices for their wives so they can be holy. Husbands are called to die to themselves in order to be alive for their wives. How do you die to self, you ask me. Die to ego. This is the problem of many men and it have scattered marriages. Pride, they say, goes before a fall. Why being proud to say I am sorry to your wife when she feels offended? Who said she must be the one to always apologise? Apologies don't make you appear weak, but makes you responsible. Is there any judge among you counting who apologises the most? A sincere apology from you will cause repentance in you and brings sincere forgiveness from your wife.
3. He made her clean by washing her in water with form of words... These words take our minds to the covenant of baptism, how we are born and washed in water and become new creatures. St. Augustine relates this to marriage, saying that through marriage, like baptism, those who enter it become new creatures "they are no longer two, but one"; and when this is between baptised persons, it becomes a sacrament creating an indelible mark on them. Hence the marriage covenant is indissoluble. This is a mystery for it is spiritual. But someone may ask, can this be made practical? I answer, yes it can! St. Paul says this mystery has many implications, meaning it can be used to explain many things!
4. Now listen, Husbands can make their wives clean in two ways taken together: by Actions and by Words. By actions, as scripture puts it: "washing her in water" when taken literally, means bathe her! How do you bathe your wife? It involves but not limited to showering her gifts and adorning her to look beautiful physically, it also means having interest in her spiritual life. Many men leave "matters of the spiritual" to their wives, hence 'church or religious matters' becomes the department of wives. No wonder churches these days are filled with women, and they are mostly victims of religious exploitation by scammers who claim to be men of God.
Secondly, by Words as the bible puts it, "with form of words." This means to use kind words of appreciation always. Appreciate your wife for the domestic things she does: cooking, laundry, care of the children, etc. These are things the money you earn or give to her cannot buy! Also appreciate her beauty, it keeps her young and vibrant. When a woman feels cared for, she blossoms like flowers and her beauty increases. Have time to discuss with her, play with her, speak to her and remind her those beautiful things about her that attracted you to her. Spice up your conjugal acts learning from each other and it will remain in her memory forever. She may forget all the money you give her, but will never forget you for the acts of sacrifice and love. Money is not everything.
[These views are purely fruits of meditation and prayers. Many may disagree with it, but before you disagree kindly CLICK HERE to watch a video and give me a feedback]

TASK: Husbands, the Physical, Spiritual and Emotional tone of your family depends on you. By your power you will fail, but with God's help you will succeed. Pray now: Psalm 128.
May the Lord give you the grace to live up to your marital demands in Jesus name. AMEN.

Are you uncomfortable as this write-up seems to be one-sided? Yes, I know, that is what the Lord inspires to me to write now. 

© Fr. SimOne Madu, OSJ



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  1. Thanks Fr for blessing us with this piece. How I wish this could get to all men - married and unmarried. I'm looking forward to read the post concerning wives. That will balance the equation. Praying for more of God's grace on you For.

    1. Thanks dear for reading and finding this work resourceful. God bless you

  2. Here's a link to the post concerning wives:


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